For those of you who are unknown, I suffer from clinical depression. This means some days I have good days, and some days I have bad days. Some days, I have even worse days. Sometimes, my bad days are good and my good days are bad. Sometimes, it takes everything I can muster to pull myself out of bed and go to work.
Depression is hard. Depression is difficult. Depression tears away at your soul and your being until you think there is nothing worth keeping. Depression rips away your humanity and leaves you an empty shell. Depression leaves you believing you will never be good enough for anyone and will never be enough to be loved.
Depression destroys you.
Depression can destroy relationships.
Some nights, I lay awake and fight the panic attacks and the voices in my head telling me that I will never be good enough. On those nights, I am lucky enough to have my boyfriend nearby to reassure me that he knows I am good enough and I am worth fighting for. He reminds me that I have the strength to fight and the willpower to defeat my depression. He reminds me that there is nothing wrong with me for having depression. He reminds me I am worthy of love.
To those of you fighting with this demon and all other manners of demons that haunt you at night, I want to remind you that you are strong enough. You are worth fighting for. You are worth so much more than what those voices tell you. You are worthy of love. You will be okay. Things may not become better, but you become okay. You become stronger. You can make it through this. You are worthy of so much more. You will survive.
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